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⌈ Humanity's most sarcastic soldier ⌋

wsswatson:

skygosh:

wsswatson:

i feel like i’d enjoy being an assassin if it didn’t involve killing people

what if instead of killing people you got hired to just ruin their day.  like the mafia or someone paid you to park behind someone’s car so they can’t back out of a spot when they’re in a rush in the morning and you make them late for work.

i would enjoy that immensely

there is a long list of people that i would gladly do that to without payment

⌈ true as fuck zodiac - prominent features ⌋

aries: so fucking stubborn. they will hold a grudge til the end of time
taurus: they are fucking nerds.
gemini: defo the random outbursts
cancer: rudeness. so fucking rude. god damn.
leo: they're about 4'9"
virgo: they don't want to talk to you at all
libra: weird ass laugh
scorpio: the fact that you can directly see hell in their eyes
sagittarius: fuckin strange ass humor
capricorn: creepy fucking smile
aquarius: kinda givin off a gay vibe
pisces: p conceited and that shit is not confidence as they may think it is

majorkimblee:

i love how no one messes with avatar the last airbender. there are people who are like, wow you watch doctor who? fucking nerd. you watch anime? gosh you’re such a weirdo. you watch avatar the last airbender? oh man you know that’s pretty cool so um what kind of bender would you be omg isn’t toph badass and don’t get me started on appa

foxnewsofficial:

i get so affectionate when i’m sleepy it’s disgusting

abiding-rebel:

OH MY FUCKING GOd

(Source: coalgirls)

officertoast:

officertoast:

I JUST SWALLOWED THE WIRE FROM MY BRACE 

PLEASE HELP

image

DO NOT

heritance:

Never fuck with someone who cries when they’re mad. They’ll stab you 48 times and cry in your stab wounds.

liedia:

my heart says museum but my wallet says re-tail

chelseamourning:

chubbythecorgi:

My friend sent me this amazing corgi comic! (originals found here)

THIS IS THE CUTEST THING EVER